I helped to plan this weekend reunion event for 8 or 9 of us from junior high and high school with very high hopes of fun, laughter, and excellent relaxing times. You know the preparation that went into it: haircut, manicure, pedicure, nervousness, new outlook on where I am with my life, and of course new shoes!
I bought a pair of beautiful tall shiny black wedge strappy shoes, for jeans and capris. I also bought a pair of tall-tall black leather strappy spiked heels for dinner out, which I loved even more. Then, I ALSO bought a pair of short REALLY cute flip flops that are leather and have leather flowers on them – they are cuter than they sound. All three are awesome shoes, and helped me feel beautiful all weekend. They rocked, and were possibly my favorite part of the whole weekend (a little foreshadowing…).
I ended up leaving the weekend very tired, glad to get home, to sort out all the drama, to look past my foggy lenses of how wonderful everyone else’s lives SEEMED to be in comparison to mine, glad to enjoy the best that each of the old friends had to offer, and yes, to get a relief from the tall shoes.
By the time I got to my kids and home afterwards, I felt pathetic about most of my life except my gorgeous shoes. So thank God for the shoes!
I have had a ton of ups and downs in my heart since leaving for the famous weekend… It would take days and days of blogs to explain it all to you: attorney drama, old boyfriend drama, getting lost every time I got behind the wheel of my car, drinking way too much (not while driving though), dirty dancing, stories and stories ad nausea, anxiety, fears, boundaries, renewing old friendships, and realizing some friendships could stay un-renewed. All mixed in with laughter and hilarious stories from childhood.
So I will just use wearing the shoes as a comparison for now: They were awesome, I didn’t fall down, I felt tall and beautiful in them, and they worked out just right- the way they were supposed to. That is exactly like where I am today- it was a great experience to spend the weekend together; there were uncomfortable times for sure; I had ups and downs (felt really short and small); I learned a few painful lessons; but now I feel again like life is beautiful and God is lovingly holding me in his hands.
Details to follow as I keep on sorting and sifting it through…