Monthly Archives: January 2013

Single Mom of Teenager Blues: My Fix-it Steps

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“If one thinks that one is happy, that is enough to be happy.”
Madame de la Fayette

I had a bout of SMTB (Single Mom of Teenager Blues) this week.  Crying jags, going to bed early, out and out sobbing while driving, afraid to talk to coworkers because I might cry in front of them, sitting in my car, wondering if I could put mascara on yet in the morning, and eating lots of chocolate chip cookies (oh wait, I do that every week).

The reason? I had to have some strong natural consequences for my son and he HATED them.  So he argued, blamed, struggled, stomped, told me I loved his siter more than him, etc.  He really worked at making me feel like the Wicked Mom of the West.  I was tired, weak, feeling unloved and underappreciated, and consequently, I felt awful about it all.  I missed the concept of a partner to step up next to me.  I missed my sweet 5-year old boy who would hold my hand and beg for me to read him more books. I missed that sweet boy who would hug me spontaneously.  I missed a husband helping to fix us dinner.  I missed sleep.  I even missed MY Mom!

Here are my feel-better steps:

1-I texted my single mom friend Sandy, asked for prayers, and she commiserated with me. 

2-I told my sister with no children that raising teenagers is wearing, and I wasn’t feeling that great.  And my sweet sister emailed me that I am doing a fantastic job, and making it look easy (I am pretty sure my kids would disagree with that!).

3-A friend at work gave me hugs and told me that I was right on track. 

4-I went on strike and did not cook or clean or ask my kids about any chore or homework or bedtime or soggy pizza box they left on the kitchen counter.

5- I went to bed with a picnic dinner and my book at 7:30.

6- I woke up this morning and ran 4 miles.  I prayed big time through it all, and decided that I have a guardian angel- I must if we have made it this far!!! She is watching over us and making sure it will all work out just right, just perfectly.  I decided to be happy and let my son be mad. 

He woke up today talking to me again, and I breathed deeply.  We are all doing the very best we can.  So let’s rest tonight, knowing all is well and will be well.