Texts for the Exes (but Actually it is for Me)

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My stomach would coil up in knots and bile literally gang up in my throat when I saw the phone number on the caller ID. My ex raised my hackles when he called. I couldn’t trust myself to stay an adult, no matter who was around me. So, luckily for us, technology saved the day. Voices can dredge up so much energy- guilt, shame, fear, anger, resentment- it all comes shooting up like a geyser to my brain when I hear his voice.

Here is a quick tip for the week.

Use texts with your ex if you need to communicate logistics and also:
1. Need space from them,
2. Hate them, or
3. Need to predictably behave like an adult, not a 7 year old

We can text moms, brothers, neighbors, and ex-friends in this situation too, but be careful of texting people you want a relationship with.

For ex -spouses, it is a God-send. We can get the logistics of the drop off/pick up and go on about our day without the time traveling to ancient arguments and sneering accusations. I could drop back 4 years and rip off that old scab of an argument while simultaneously becoming a 7-year old if I heard his voice ask where I will be dropping off the extra change of clothes. But when I switched to texting only, I kept to my chronological age. it is difficult to sneer, or hear a sneer on text.

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About anne

I am a single mother of 2 really great kids. I am a professional as well, and hope to tell you some funny, authentic, and encouraging stories on my blog to help encourage and empower other single or just crazily busy parents. But I need to warn you that this blog is where I work out (for myself) some crazy ideas from their bitter, salty, pretzeled-up shapes into hopefully some better-tasting pastries. Any busy parent can probably relate to them though... crazy times call for crazy friends sharing crazy stories so we can laugh rather than cry about the funny way things turn out!

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