Tag Archives: Friday

Grateful Zone Friday February 11, 2010: Demons and Eggs

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1. Hell hath no demons like an ex spouse disappointed in themselves
They can be total jerks… But- when we realize that weak people lash out at others because they are pissed at themselves for screwing up, it changes the whole energy around the interaction. My 14-year old has figured this out. He will look at me at 9:30 pm when I am in the middle of a storm of 2-day old dirty dishes ranting at him about his chores, and say “Mom, you are tired. Please go to bed. I will do them in the morning.” He can clearly see that I am mad at myself and blaming him. He knows not to take it on. But I learn more slowly… When my ex doesn’t pay the court-ordered child support, and then lashes out at me in abnormally mean exchanges, it takes me longer to figure out that it is not because I am the terrible person he is accusing me of. It is because he is disappointed in himself for not having the money he is court-ordered to pay.

When I can pity my ex and his weakness for eating out too often for his budget, and feel sorry for him for not taking responsibility for his own choices (and therefore losing his opportunity for growth), his entire verbal assault bounces off of me like rubber bullets. I am the unruffled duck to his accusations of tardiness; his cries about my perilous driving (I got a photo-radar ticket that he found out about) don’t even register. I know he is having a hard time with his life, and being lame about moving forward and fixing his own issues.

Yes, I need to work on my speeding, tardy, dirty dish habits. But these habits don’t justify the torment he unleashes. My answer? Pity the fool! Be grateful that we learn from our mistakes and don’t unleash hellish torture and misery on others to try to avoid our own anxiety and natural consequences. This applies to more than just ex-spouses of course…

***Pitying him doesn’t mean I let him out of the money he owes me. It just means I think of him as a chicken instead of a demon.

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2. Eggs are really easy, cheap protein when we run out of money, creativity, and time for healthy meals. Scrambled eggs, fried eggs, hard-boiled eggs- all awesome. Kids think French toast is the best thing ever– try one of those the next time you run out of mojo for dinner.

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Club Awesome Grateful Zone February 4, 2011

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A couple of cheap and easy things to be grateful for this week:

1. The light is coming! Make sure you notice that at 5:30 tonight, it is NOT pitch dark!!! Winter is going to subside, the sun will shine, and the weather will get warmer. Spring is not that far away.

http://www.heartlightministries.org/blogs/pttradio/2011/01/29/weekend-single-parents-1292011/
2. That website is for single parents- it has a short little article encouraging us and giving us a few tips. A very quick good read.

3. The shoe isle at TJ Maxx. I have decided that once a month, I will take $30 and check out the shoe isle there. I got some really cute cheap leather Etienne Aigner shoes there in January. Try it!!

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4. It is tax season. Most of us have children that are tax deductions, and will get a little extra cash soon. Dave Ramsey (www.daveramsey.com) thinks we need to put some in savings, so this is the month we have been waiting for to get started on the emergency fund. We need to do it!! Check out his free website and financial tips. The emergency fund is more important than paying down debts…

5. Blueberries are in season somewhere and they taste really good with dark chocolate the next time you need a special treat for you. Add Diet Pepsi, and it is ambrosia.

6. Praying for the people we resent, hate, or have done us wrong really does work to get rid of the negative energy so that we can move on, get into a healthier space, and let go of the crap that is keeping us from living our beautiful lives God wants us to live. Try it this weekend, it really works!!

Club Awesome Saturday September 18, 2010

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Gratitude List for September 18, 2010. This time of year is difficult for me financially every single year, no matter what. I want all kinds of things that I cannot afford. I hone my skills at denying my kids things they want too. It can be a real drag. So I am focusing now on being grateful for and noticing all the free and cheap things in my life that are tremendous gifts. I want to continue to notice and appreciate them, so I write about them. Thanks for reading my blog; I hope it inspires you to do the same (another blog about financial struggles is on its way!).

1. I am enjoying and savoring the light as it changes this year while the sun makes its way to the southern hemisphere. The Indian Summer is in full glory; perfectly cool for running early and then toasty warm for outdoor lunches and afternoon football or softball games. The sunlight is almost shimmering and sparkling, making the blue sky bluer, the leaves and grass brighter, and it is ok that summer will end officially in a few days.

2. As my teenage son ages, I am getting the chance to understand men so much better (or not!)… He can complain and describe for long minutes about a cleated calf and how much it hurts, describe the impact with his teammate several times, and ask me 4 times to feel the gigantic bruise on his leg. But if I mention the word “ice” he looks at me as if half-crocked and says “Mom, don’t you know anything? Ice is for sissies”.

3. My daughter continues to model courage and strength to me the way she tries new approaches to life: she plays on the 3rd string softball team and loves every minute of it in right field; she still loves to play the tuba in the school band although the instrument is larger than she is; and she paints each of her fingernails and toenails a different color.

4. “Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into.”
Wayne Dyer

5. Indian summer breezes, fun and funny company while working, answered prayers, and fresh balance for my life.

6. Camping at Lake Powell with dear friends!

Club Awesome List for August 28, 2010: Barking dogs, Smiling Kids, and Pickles

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Weeeeellllllll, I have not written a club awesome list for over 2, maybe 3, weeks… I have completely fallen off the wagon. I still write occasional daily lists in the mornings, but altogether am not on the gratitiude kick I sermonized about a few weeks ago. I have plenty of excuses: school started, I went out of town, we have had really hot weather, the dog barks a lot these days, my back hurts, and the dryer makes an annoying sound these days that makes me think it is quitting on me. Whatever, I need to do better!

I am thankful this week for:
1. School started, and my kids have regular routines again so I don’t feel guilty about going to work any more.

2. My kids like their regular routine, and they like me better these days too! I can tell, because they are smiling more often and not hiding from me in the basement (well not as much, anyway).

3. I have a new quote that I am thinking about: “Go the way the horse is galloping” from my friend Diane… I am taking it to mean that I don’t need to and probably should not try to change the direction of someone who is hell-bent on their attitude. Kind of like the “Live and let live” quote from Alanon. I can let the horse take off in the direction it needs to if it is at a full gallop. Later, when it loses some of its momentum and is walking perhaps a little slower I can check if maybe it will consider a slight change of course. Think about it- when was the last time you were on a galloping horse? Holding on was all I could do (and laugh with the thrill of it). Then when it slowed down I had a chance to find the trail and coax her back over to it.

4. I was able to help 2 frieds in their job searches this week. That helps me have gratitude at my job and to keep on sticking with it on Thursday afternoons at 1:30 when I wish it were Friday because my brain is all used up and won’t stay connected to my body any more. I think I ate 8 mini Snickers this Thursday afternoon just trying to get my chair to stay connected to my legs.

5. The dog barks because he is protecting me, not because he is a pain in the butt. I have never felt afraid with him running with me or sleeping in my house. I am lucky to have an over-protective dog.

6. I used cash and did not debt this week. We will be eating some cheap food until payday, but this system feels much better, and more peaceful. And anyway, peanut butter goes well with spaghetti noodles and pickles…

7. My friend Anna came up with the title of three naming convention I am using lately. Awesome idea, Anna!

Club Awesome List for August 6, 2010- brownies, vows, and tubes

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As you know, this is my list of gratitude toppers. I am a creature of habit, unless it requires work, and I have to get out of a funked-out brain in order to do it. There are times when I “am just not feeling it” and I struggle to write my list each morning, no matter how good for me it might be!

So, this blog list is my committment to myself that I will do it, and usually it keeps me on the daily path too. I know, sometimes I can only find thanks for really LAME things, like a new pen, but I have to just keep at it…

I hope you are inspired to come up with your list on a regular basis too. I am sure you can come up with better stuff than me!

1. I found some of my mom’s brownies hidden in the back of the freezer this morning.
2. I socialized with girlfriends on 8 of the last 10 days. Amazing, simply amazing soul food. My friends are my compasses; they help me to steer my life in the direction I want to go. The longer I have known them, the more perspective they have, and the truer the compass. Thanks Moodie!

3. My parents have been married for 55 years as of yesterday. I don’t think I will make that milestone in my own life without lots of medical technological advances (and a date next week would help too!). I am impressed with how they have made their lives mesh and the forgiveness they grant each other on a daily if not hourly basis. They may drive me crazy at times, but I really do have a lot to learn from them about granting unconditional love, even when feelings are hurt and expectations are unmet.

4. Boating on Horseshoe Reservoir with friends. I even tubed, haha! Very fun to get to play.

5. I have been able to purge old things and old ideas over the past 2 weeks. And it feels so good! I am no longer hanging on to ideas or things out of fear that I will never be able to replace them. Abundance and love is right here, right now. I just need to wade through the crap to find it occasionally!

Club Awesome List for Friday July 30, 2010

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I write this weekly gratitude list of original (to me) items. This discipline helps me to be aware of my intention to be grateful throughout my week and opens me up to notice the blessings all around me. Maybe they inspire you too.

1. Curbside recycling

2. Reconnections with GFs Liz, Sara and Lorna- they are the best meds anyone could ask for : )

3. Really cool skies to watch with funky clouds in the afternoon.

4. Shopping for longboard skateboard with son; precious camp postcards from daughter.

5. My dog Max’s butt is as fat as mine now, so he doesn’t mind running slowly with me while we build our mileage back up to our pre-Cheetoh levels..

6. Coffeemate coconut flavored creamer with Chai tea

7. Convertible BMWs

8. You, my blog readers! I am so very thankful that you read my blabbering and comment with your thoughts. You keep me thinking and considering the potential for all that Divine Energy and Love we have available to us. You keep me coming back to write more.

9. A humbling and inspiring verse Liz sent me:
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you; when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
Isa. 43:2-3

Club Awesome July 17, 2010

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The purpose of this weekly blog entry is really a selfish one. I find that if I am not held accountable for gratitude on a daily basis, I let it slip and tend to think of the things I do not have rather than my blessings. So maybe these lists don’t do as much for you as they do for me. However, I hope they inspire you to think creatively about your life and what you are grateful for today. What follows are the awesome things I am thankful for this week. My friend Trish recommends I think of something original every day, so I am trying to be orginal each week too. It helps me keep actively thinking in terms of gratefullness.

1. Gorgeous lakes and trees and skies. I told my kids I think God hears extra gratitude prayers up here; it is so beautiful. I had 2 soaring bald eagles usher me in to the county yesterday as I drove.

2. My kids are awesome. I wish I could just talk about them all day. But I grew up in the midwest, and that is considered rude, so I just write about them instead. Is that still bragging?

3. My sister Molly, friends Delia, Leanne, Katy, Bhanu, Alison, and Liz, and more! Girlfriends are really super important in my life, and I am blessed to have them at my back!

4. For some reason, my boss is really ok with me working remotely! Wow! It rocks!!!

5. God is great. Whatever my stuff is today, God is with me and taking care of it better than I can.