Tag Archives: miracle

Grumpy and Annoyed Will Lead to a Miracle?! Really?!

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Grumpy, irritated, tired, and resentful. That is me today. I am annoyed too. My current crush (CC) is not getting the point that I like, enjoy, and respond really well to daily contact that he needs to initiate half the time or more. I am afraid of his rejection. His power play about our communication is not making me like him more; it is pissing me off and inspiring me to delete all of my saved text messages and voice mails as well as his contact information (I know I can be a little drastic). I am so ready to tell him to forget it all despite a fabulous phone conversation 3 days ago.

More immediately and in my face, I have to work with the Princess Bitch (PB) in the office today. I am not looking forward to it. We have to sit down together in a room and talk over something she is going to be very defensive about, and likely will find a way to put me down and wave her long fingernails at me and her work as if she is the Princess of all. I will have to focus very hard on breathing and that professionalism concept…

I didn’t get enough sleep this past week. And I am feeling a little pushed to do more than I am capable of. Can you tell?!

Here is my gratitude list for today:
1. My meeting with PB is not until this afternoon
2. I have not bitten anyone’s head off (yet) today
3. I did not badger my children this morning and we had a nice breakfast together
4. I have not cried in a) my boss’ office, b)my office, c)in public, d)yet today
5. **I can pray and ask God to turn this fear of rejection into a miracle of communication with CC and PB.

God- Please give me perspective, grace, and divine timing for these 2 important communication pieces on my plate. Help me to trust that you could actually turn these 2 situations into miracles of some sort. Oh yeah, according to other blogs I have written, I am supposed to Be the Grace. I will work on that… but you could help me with that too? I am feeling really skeptical about all this…

Please help me to be patient while I figure out how to trust you again. In the meantime, I am going to go eat a bunch of chocolate and find a tranquilizer.

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The Crying Games

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“Mom, It was soooo so cool. I made him cry. That is the third time this season!” (jubilantly announced)

I was not sure what to think of my son’s remark about wrestling practice: (in no order, as they all came at once)

1. Mortification that my son is potentially a bully;

2. Amazement that he could make a competitor cry with wrestling moves he has learned;

3. Wondering about the coach, the circumstances, and the situation. What happened, and how did they all handle it?

4. Feeling badly for the 3 boys- Were they hurting physically? Were their feelings hurt?

5. Boys in middle school never cried when I was that age.

6. How in the world is my boy, who has lived with me exclusively for 12 of his 14 years, learning these (seemingly male, because his sister and I don’t do them!) traits? To enjoy competition so much that he is thrilled to make his opponent cry in defeat; to channel surf with annoying skill; to proudly fart at will on the couch sitting next to me; to eat syrupy waffles from his hands while walking across clean floors; and yes, to smile disarmingly when I mention that perhaps a fork would be a good idea for salad?

A different being has replaced my gorgeous tow-headed toddler. How does that happen? Yes, he is not a refined man that I would ever want to let loose in the world as a finished product. He has some “finishing” to do.

Teenagers are miracles- annoying, smelly, perplexing, amazing miracles.

PS-I decided to explain that in the ring, it is very good to be so skilled and intimidating that he might make opponents cry. But outside the ring, never ever ok (he is wrestling, after all, not playing chess- it is a physical competition of mutual consent). He quickly replied- “I know, mom. In the ring, I’m a fighter. But outside the of it, I’m a lover”. And that remark started me on an entirely new trajectory of wondering about how my sweet young son is growing up!!