For those of you who have not been with me for the last year, I will do a re-cap:
June 2011– Girl realizes she works with a Cute Guy when he makes (unnecessary and silly)conversation on Facebook and in office with her. She sees definite potential (he is smart, has a job, is a good Dad, has similar background and… he likes to ski)
July– Girl encourages Cute Guy to see what his reactions would be (she smiles a lot, stops to talk in the hallway, laughs at his jokes)
August– Cute Guy pursues friendship with Girl (flirts at group gatherings, encouraging her to try the hot-hot tomatillo salsa…)
September– Girl sees potential, and encourages super-slowly, shares hiking and wine (no kissing or hugging, but suggests get-togethers and responds to playful texts)
October– Cute Guy (CG) and Girl continue to hang out as friends, and definite chemistry increases (beer induces kissing)
November– Girl realizes she really likes CG, more develops super-slowly (longer dates, more kissing, lots of alone-time and romance for sure, still no dancing between the sheets tho)
December– Girl and CG ski together, shop together, eat together, LOTS of chemistry, then bomb drops (he is seeing someone else) Girl tells CG no more dates 2 days before Christmas. Tough holiday.
January 2012– Girl is super sad, tells CG she only dates one guy at a time and won’t be playing any more. Too late for friendship. She dates other guys, changes hair, buys new clothes. Bu-bye CG. CG comes back, says he wants what she wants (Exclusive Partnership). Dating resumes. Still on the down low at work. Meet kids, ski weekends, etc. Feels pretty good.
February– Cute Guy acts like a goober, a very ugly guy, and spends Valentines Day weekend with old GF. Girl stops talking to CG, won’t acknowledge him, and avoids him completely. Returns all books, shared items, deletes all voice mails, phone number, texts, etc. Doesn’t return phone calls or texts. Moves on with life. Tough holiday.
Late February- CG explains himself in a 3 hour phone call. Girl explains herself. Lots of long phone calls (also with girlfriend Liz and friend Mark, trying to decipher what kind of a boy-brain pulls that shit and if he is worth any trouble)
March– Girl decides to give Cute Guy another chance. Reads him a list of her intentions for her life and looks him in the eye this time, giving him time to respond and taking time to digest his responses. Cute Guy steps up.
April– Girls gets surgery, Cute Guy steps up again and stays with her and her kids for 5 days cooking, cleaning, schlepping.
May– Cute Guy steps up again and plans to take her to meet family on vacation. Feels GREAT.
June– Girl takes family vacation with Cute Guy and his son. He steps up again bigger introducing her to lots of family. She encoruages him, introduces him to her family.
July– Girl runs half marathon, CG steps up again (begins his tradition of driving her to race starts and meeting her at finish line).
August- CG steps up on ladders and helps Girl with home projects.
September- Girl says she cannot imagine falling in love with a man who smokes cigarettes, CG quits smoking within 5 days. Girl encourages CG big time.
October- So here we are, and I adore this man. He adores me. We share a lot, and have mutual goals and aspirations. But even better, we allow each other’s integrity and individuality to shine through the relationship. I respect his time with his son, his work aspirations, and his train set. He respects my running, my work, and most importantly my motherhood drive. We are still finding out about each other. He has a blog that I have never seen, says it is about cooking? (he won’t see this one for a long long time!). We love to ski together, work out together, encourage each other to pursue our independent passions (i.e. he doesn’t have to run. I don’t have to do trains, meteorology, woodworking or compost until I am good and ready.) I was intensely jealous of other gf’s relationships going swiftly to love and 24-hour dates after 3 weeks, but kept my slow and steady tortoise pace. I waited 6 months to sleep with this man, and it was more than worth the wait. We are committed exclusive partners to each other. We have plans to make things official after our kids are more settled in their lives (out of high school).
He may have come in to my life to help me learn and express just how important the “Exclusive Partnership” is to me. I held my ground, yet forgave him when he messed up because he came back truly communicating that he was ready.
Now, I have loved this man for a long time, but I have not told him… So the tortoise lives on!